


All Aboard the PMS Titanic

by embarrassing old stuff from LJ pre-2015 (prevaricator)



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Crack, Genderswitch, M/M, het porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-25
Updated: 2011-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-15 19:40:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prevaricator/pseuds/embarrassing%20old%20stuff%20from%20LJ%20pre-2015
Summary: Ryo turns into a girl, though he might have already been one, anyway.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from LJ

**Title:** All Aboard the PMS Titanic  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Pairing:** Ryo/Shige(/Pi)  
**Warnings:** Genderswitch, crack, het porn  
**Summary:** Ryo turns into a girl, though he might have already been one, anyway.  
**Notes:** For [](http://tatoeba.livejournal.com/profile)[**tatoeba**](http://tatoeba.livejournal.com/) for [](http://help-japan.livejournal.com/profile)[**help_japan**](http://help-japan.livejournal.com/). Completely unrelated to the KoyaMassu genderswitch I just posted. :x

  
“This rice tastes weird,” Ryo grumbles with his mouth full. “And the chicken is hard. Why couldn’t we get Japanese food for dinner?”

Flinching, Shige looks around the restaurant, relaxing only a little when he doesn’t see any waiters within earshot.

He’s relieved when Yamapi speaks up before he can work up the nerve to. “The rice is fine. And you’re acting like Rina when she’s PMSing.”

Shige picks up his beer to hide his smirk as Ryo glares at Yamapi. It’s true—Ryo has been acting like a girl in PMS all night, getting angry over the strangest things. At least he isn’t being insecure, Shige thinks.

“Did you just call me a girl?” Ryo asks Yamapi, looking incensed.

“No, he said you were acting like a hormonal one,” Shige clarifies.

Ryo stands up and plants his hands on the table. “I’ll show you hormonal, you little—“

Shige winces as everyone in the restaurant turns to look at them. Yamapi puts a hand on Ryo’s shoulder. “Ryo, we were joking.”

To their relief, Ryo sits back down, pouting. “Well, it was a bad joke.”

There’s a brief, awkward pause before Yamapi manages to change the subject by ordering another round of drinks and murmuring his appreciation of the waitress’s figure when she’s left. This leads to an evening of checking out the other patrons of the restaurant, and Ryo spiritedly telling Yamapi and Shige that their taste in women is awful, Yamapi and Shige making faces behind Ryo’s back at his choice of women, who are all as skinny as mannequins.

 

 

It’s sometime after they’ve moved their ogling from the restaurant to a bar that Shige starts to notice something odd about Ryo. He blames it on beer goggles at first, but after a while comes to the conclusion that no amount of alcohol could ever make him think that Ryo has sprouted a pair of boobs.

For that matter, if he had been hallucinating, he’s sure he wouldn’t have hallucinated Ryo braless. And he’d be a bit bigger than he is now (he’s looking to be about a B-cup, Shige thinks).

“Nishikido-kun, why do you have boobs?” He asks, reaching out to poke at Ryo’s chest. His finger meets soft flesh, something Ryo has never really had.

Ryo looks down.

“Whoa, I didn't even notice.”

It's a testament to how drunk they are that nobody freaks out at this discovery. Instead, Ryo and Yamapi join in the poking, taking it to Shige's apartment when people start giving them funny looks.

At Shige's place, Ryo makes another discovery.

“Guys,” he says, stumbling out of the bathroom giggling. “I have a vagina. I had to sit down to pee!”

Then he flops onto the couch and falls asleep.

 

 

In stark contrast to the night before, the next morning Shige wakes to a scream. He finds Ryo on the couch, still in girl form and clutching at his crotch in distress. “I'm a girl,” he screeches, voice an octave or so higher than normal.

“Ow,” Shige clutches his head. “Have some respect for the hungover.”

He hears a muffled “yeah” from the floor, where Yamapi is sprawled on his spare futon.

“Why don’t you try having some respect for the—“, Ryo hesitates, unsure how to finish and making a vague, abortive gesture at his breasts.

 

 

Ryo and Yamapi end up frantically searching the web for solutions while Shige makes them all brunch. He listens to their chatter, mostly arguments about what, exactly, they should even be typing into Google. At first they seem to be getting only results about sex change surgeries.

“Oh, here’s someone who says they know a spell that’ll fix it,” Yamapi says.

“A spell? Just what I need, some magic solution to my problems,” Ryo says, skeptically.

“Well, it’s kind of a magical problem,” Yamapi responds.

“Oh.” Ryo thinks about it. “Okay, how do we do it?”

“It doesn’t say, there’s just an address listed. In Miyazaki.”

“Okay, go get us some plane tickets.”

“Um,” Shige says from the kitchen. “I think you need an I.D. to fly. And I don’t think one that says you’re a guy is going to fly right now.”

Even if he bound his chest, his face was nothing like the one on his I.D., softer and rounder, and generally more like a girl’s. A pretty girl’s, Shige’s mind tells him, but he ignores that.

Ryo’s eyes widen. “Shit.”

After discussion, they decide that the bullet train and buses won’t do either, in case someone sees them and catches on (or just kicks up another scandal about Yamapi having a girlfriend), so they set out in Yamapi’s car for the two-day drive. Shige and Yamapi agree to alternate driving, though Ryo protests when they reason that he can’t drive because he’s bound to get them pulled over or crash, and then the I.D. issue will crop up again.

Ryo calls shotgun on the way back to the car from lunch, and Shige thinks nothing of it and slides into the backseat.

The conversation is, unsurprisingly, entirely focused on Ryo. Yamapi wants to know what it feels like to not have a dick, and if he’s being honest, Shige is curious too. But Ryo can’t explain it, just says it feels weird and pokes at his breasts.

It isn’t until almost dinnertime that he finds out why Ryo really wanted that seating arrangement.

After a brief lull in the conversation, he turns to Shige and asks, “Hey Shige, have you ever fingered a girl?”

Shige chokes on his own spit. “Y-yes?”

Ryo looks at him, one eyebrow raised in skepticism. “Have you ever given a girl head?”

“Of course I have,” Shige says, getting irritated with the sudden invasive questions. Why would Ryo doubt his experience?

“Then prove it,” Ryo says, unbuckling his seat belt.

Ryo as a girl has hardly any more body fat than Ryo as a guy, a fact which makes him quite happy. Shige is mostly neutral about it until Ryo clambers out of the front seat and into his lap, whereupon he finds himself both thankful that Ryo is small and light, and wishing that Ryo were a bit less bony at the same time.

He lets out a muffled squawk of surprise when Ryo starts kissing him, but he finds that he doesn’t really object to the idea, so he kisses back. Ryo fits nicely in his lap (probably would even without the loss of height that came with girlification), but kisses aggressively, like he has something to compensate for.

“What the fuck are you guys doing?” Yamapi asks warily from the front, but Shige can’t answer him. He figures it’s pretty self-explanatory, though, when Ryo rubs against his thigh and moans, and he figures he was right about that when Yamapi curses from the front seat.

Then Ryo is opening the front of his own pants and shoving Shige’s hand into them. It’s a bit blunt, but Shige obeys his unspoken command and presses his fingers up against the soft flesh between Ryo’s legs, surprised when he meets moisture. He supposes that explains why Ryo couldn't wait until they were someplace more comfortable.

Despite Ryo’s earlier doubts, Shige does know what he’s doing and happily proves it, rubbing his thumb just above Ryo’s clit, occasionally moving to other areas, hoping Ryo isn’t going to expect him to try to prove the giving head part, too. The backseat isn’t wide enough to do that without more flexibility than Shige has.

Ryo is predictably loud about the process, which really only serves to fuel Shige’s ego, though he feels bad about leaving Yamapi out and making him listen.

One of them can take care of him later, he reasons, reaching up to grope one of Ryo’s breasts. To his surprise, Ryo just moans louder—Shige’s pretty sure he’s never had a girl who actually liked having her breasts played with, but trust Ryo to be sensitive.

So he keeps doing it, mouthing at Ryo’s other nipple through his shirt (he’d refused to buy a bra, determined that this would be a very temporary event) as he presses a finger up into Ryo.

Ryo actually falls completely silent as he comes, thighs clenching around Shige's hand. Then he collapses into a puddle in Shige’s lap.

“So?” Shige says, trying not to gloat too hard.

“So what?” Ryo asks into his shoulder.

“Did I prove it?”

Ryo punches him lightly on the shoulder. “You proved nothing. You could just be a natural or something.”

But before Shige can get Ryo to return the favor, Yamapi says in a worried voice, “Guys, I think I took the wrong exit. And the GPS has stopped giving me directions.”

Shige has a brief moment of panic, looking out the windows at a dark forest. He worms his way into the front seat and digs out the address of the hotel they were planning to stop at, resetting the GPS and punching the address in. He heaves a sigh of relief when it immediately starts giving out directions again. Yamapi laughs awkwardly and scratches his head.

It only takes another ten minutes to find the hotel.

When they get inside, Yamapi insists on seeing for himself if Ryo feels like a girl everywhere, and Shige insists on double-checking.

“It must be nice, being a girl,” Yamapi comments as they come down. “Being able to come three times in a few hours.”

Ryo is too busy sleeping to answer.

The next evening they reach the address in Miyazaki, a small cottage with peeling paint by the sea, with a garden full of statues of platypuses.

They all share a wary look before knocking on the door, which looks like a light breeze would knock it off its hinges.

It’s answered by a tiny old man who makes them pay 30,000 yen before he’ll even do anything. Then he tugs once on Ryo’s left earlobe, three times on his right, and flicks his nose, and suddenly Ryo is a man again.

“That’s it?” He says in disbelief, while Yamapi and Shige gawk.

Ryo having a penis again doesn’t get in the way of him getting up to things with Yamapi while Shige’s driving the next day. He defends himself by saying he needs to make sure it works before they’re too far from Miyazaki to go back to the old man and demand a refund.  


 

 **Title:** Chord-bound  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Pairing:** ShigePi, with KoyaShige, TegoShige, JinShige  
**Warnings:** Crack. Could be construed as date rape.  
**Summary:** Shige finds a magical musical combination that makes people want to jump him.  
**Notes:** Originally posted on the Bunny Meme part 2, for the prompt "Shige inadvertently discovers the magical musical combination that causes a listener to suddenly want to get it on with him (a la Mike Posner's ["Bow chicka wow wow"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWfUp70XMLI)). Preferably starting with Koyama. Talk about awkward shock when Shige lets his best friend hear the new song he's working on. :D Bonus points if Shige does't cotton on until the third time, and if Pi is the person he uses it on on purpose."

  
The first time it happens, Shige has brought his guitar in to work on a new song while he’s waiting in the dressing room with Koyama for a show they’re filming. He’s been thinking of giving it some ridiculous lyrics and making it a KoyaShige song.

Focused on playing the song, he doesn’t notice Koyama moving at all until a tanned, slender hand wraps around the neck of the guitar, effectively ruining the song. Shige is too surprised to resist as Koyama tugs the guitar away from him and sets it gently on the coffee table.

“Have I ever mentioned how sexy you look playing guitar?” Koyama asks, pushing him onto his back on the couch and kissing him. Shige can feel something that probably isn’t Koyama’s cell phone pressing against his thigh.

It can’t possibly be a good idea for Shige to be doing this with his best friend, let alone when they’re supposed to be filming in a half-hour, but he kind of really likes the way Koyama is pinning him to the couch and grinding against him.

 

 

They’re both a little surprised when their popularity goes up immensely after the show airs.

 

 

The second time it happens, Shige is trying the song on Tegoshi, having bribed him over to his apartment with promises of home-cooked food. He gets to the same part of the song as he had with Koyama before he finds his guitar being taken away yet again, this time to be replaced in his lap by Tegoshi’s body.

He’s more surprised than he was by Koyama, but saying no to Tegoshi’s demands is never a good idea, and when Tegoshi is demanding that Shige _fuck him now, please_ , Shige finds that he doesn’t really mind.

So he flips Tegoshi onto his knees and obeys.

 

 

It’s not until the third time that he figures out what’s going on. Originally, he’d figured it was his new cologne or something. And he’s not dumb enough to not realize his whole group has a soft spot for him, so he can see the soft spot turning into a hard spot. Or something.

So he’s not really sure, but he has some hunches. But then one day he’s alone at a magazine office, waiting for someone to interview him. The interviewer hasn’t come back from lunch yet, a staffer stops in to tell him breathlessly, then runs out again, leaving the door ajar in her hurry.

Shige shrugs and carries on trying to work out the new song, repeating the phrase he’d gotten to when Koyama and Tegoshi had interrupted him over and over as he thinks.

When Akanishi Jin rushes in, slams the door, and starts making out with Shige like there’s no tomorrow, Shige decides it must be the music.

 

 

So like any responsible boy with a crush, Shige calls Yamapi and invites him over for lunch the next day.

He isn’t sure how to get from having lunch to playing a magical aphrodisiac tune at his group leader, but Yamapi gives him the perfect segue when he says, “Oh, Jin said you were working on a new song or something?”

He looks puzzled, probably because Jin talking to him about Shige is a rather unusual event, but Shige ignores that. “Yeah. Will you listen to it for me? I'm not sure about a few parts.”

Yamapi nods, so Shige settles on the couch with his guitar. To avoid looking suspicious, he starts at the beginning and doesn’t rush it.

He tries to act natural when he hits the phrase (which he’s made the chorus, so he has an excuse to play it again if it doesn’t work the first time) and sees Yamapi make his way to the couch out of the corner of his eye.

But Yamapi doesn’t pounce him like all the others have. Shige keeps playing, unsure what else to do as Yamapi sits on the couch next to him. Then Yamapi is nudging him to move forward, sliding to sit behind him when he does.

He knows the tune still works when he feels Yamapi’s erection pressing against his ass, but Yamapi stops him when he tries to put the guitar down.

“Keep playing,” he says into Shige’s ear, punctuating it with a soft bite and sending shivers down Shige’s spine.

So Shige plays while Yamapi nibbles at his earrings and rocks gently against him, faltering only slightly when a hand that had been running up and down his side starts pressing at the front of his pants. Yamapi lets him set the guitar aside when he finishes the song, then asks where his lube is.

Flushing, Shige digs it out from a bowl of potpourri on the coffee table and hands it to a smirking Yamapi.

“Planned this, did you?” Yamapi laughs in his ear, but Shige notes with some satisfaction that he sounds a little breathless. Then he’s working Shige’s pants off and sliding fingers into him, and Shige just moans and presses down against his hand.

In contrast to earlier, Yamapi rushes the prep, so that it burns a little when he flips Shige onto his stomach and pushes in, pulling Shige’s hips up to meet his thrusts. If he could spare a thought for anything other than Yamapi’s cock hitting just the right spot again and again, Shige would be relieved that he wasn’t keeping up the slow teasing he’d been at earlier.

Shige comes before Yamapi, all over Yamapi’s hand, so that it ends up smeared on his own hip when Yamapi grabs it as he finishes.

Yamapi pulls him into the shower afterward, kissing him under the spray as they clean up.

“You know you don’t need to serenade me if you want me to fuck you, right?” Yamapi asks.

Shige didn’t know that, so he files it away in his mind and kisses Yamapi in lieu of an answer, thinking he’ll take him up on that offer sometime. Probably as soon as possible.  



End file.
